Depth Perception Seems Important
by Kitsune Freak
Summary: Or so Mukuro realized after failing for the umpteenth time to retrieve his jar of pineapple chunks.


KitsuneFreak: For some reason, I never invested much thought into this aspect of Mukuro. However, in my surfing I found a tolerable abridged series (wowza, and I'm a picky one too!) which inspired this short fic (well… shorter than most I guess). Thank you DyingWillBullet of YouTube.

This is written mostly from Mukuro's POV but I leaned away from 1st person dialogue because I just dislike 1st person dialogue outside of quotes in general. Think of it as 3rd person omniscient. It's strange how I started with one idea and ended up with Mukuro recapping his entire life, albeit in an amusing way. Note that Mukuro is borderline OOC… unless you consider the Monster Tamer Series canon.

Disclaimer: Not me, because if it was then these fic would definitely be a scene… somewhere… maybe… not the recap part because that would be a filler… just the scene.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

Mukuro grimaced and bit his lower lip again as his cheeks colored to show tiny specks of red. It wasn't exactly embarrassing per se, but just the thought of him still having this problem at this age was wrong on so many levels. He just thanked heaven that there wasn't anyone in the room to watch this awkward debacle.

Depth Perception…. Or the lack of it.

It was what the gods deigned as a necessary flaw in the young Mist Illusionist. And by gods, that would be the young man's own family. Truth be told, his red eye wasn't in the realm of normal because it can only see the six paths. Apparently reality was not included in the 'Path of Humans'. And thus, he had to rely on his blue eye to show him the world.

"Come on…" Mukuro said under his breath, willing for things to go in his favor for once. The jar seemed to grow ever further from his reach.

A few years ago, Mukuro thought he had already sorted out this slight problem. Prior to reaching out for anything, he always mentally added about a foot or two to make up for the loss. It was the reason for his choice in weaponry: the trident. He could always jab left and right and not worry too much about the stabbing. After all, if he missed, all that he'd have to do is swipe and swing around. Sooner or later, his foe would have the air knocked out of him by the rod end of the trident.

It was also the reason why he seemingly preferred to do nothing and sit back and watch the show. Usually this involved him sending out his Kokuyo minions to do the dirty work for him, however, there were times when things just had to be done in person… Like now for instance.

"Curse the Estraneo Family. If they weren't already dead, I'd kill them again. Kufufu…"

Oh, and did he mention the fact that it was _also_ because of his _loving_ family, that he entered a murderous career in the illusionist arts?

Illusions are the manifestations of what you perceive in your mind. Mukuro knew he had no problem with the mind part – it was just the connecting with the real world that he had some trouble with. Therefore, he excelled at making his own little world and superimposing it on others. That meant that he often didn't have to lift a single finger to embarrass himself while his enemies cowered at a nonexistent lotus-monsters and hell-fire magma.

"And then there was the freaking Vendice!" Mukuro cursed aloud. His goal was temporarily forgotten in his anger.

Oh yes, Vendice. But first, it was important to rewind and figure out what led to his first capture.

Being taken in by Lancia's family was an extra bonus that he had not counted on. That family was the only other one that knew of his 'special problem'. Actually, the boss of that family saw him as very cute and endearing because of it, oh the nerve! He was not cute! Mukuro clenched his hand into a fist at the memory of his first introduction to Lancia.

'_I like the boy's eyes, their filled with ambition._'

Oh yes. That man was mocking him. The only reason that Mukuro ran headlong into the man was because he miscalculated the distance between himself and the pineapple he dropped. The so-called look of ambition was his frustration at being unable to retrieve his favorite fruit.

He also didn't understand Lancia's attachment to his family. Couldn't he see that the old geezer was just using them as tools of amusement? Mukuro remembered all the times that he went out to carry back the groceries and 'missed' the table. The old man laughed every time but didn't lift a finger to help. At some point the young boy just gave up and set it on the ground in front of Lancia so he could do that latter half of the job. Almost every single time, Lancia ended up patting Mukuro on the head for this 'endearing' act. The old man's absurdity was getting infectious.

Mukuro pouted slightly to himself as he rubbed the spot above his head. "Just who did he think he was? Patting and all that…"

Then again, Mukuro mused, he might have developed some sort of soft spot for his temporary caretaker. Clearly that was the reason why he gave Lancia the honor of doing the killing with his bare hands. To this day, Mukuro still doesn't understand why Lancia hates his guts. Oh well.

In the planning of mafia-destruction, he finally put phase one into motion by possessing the idiotic man and having _him_ kill his family. Again, Mukuro used a method that wouldn't result in undignified mishaps. He did the poor man a favor! Well, he'll see that the Mist Illusionist was right one day.

After this, things worked out pretty swell – that is, until Mukuro made another fatal mistake. It was this very error that landed him right into the open arms of the Vendice.

Escaping through air ventilation shafts was extremely useful mostly because you have a maze-like myriad of paths to take and no one could see you. However, Mukuro committed the error of being first in the short line (with Chikusa, Ken, a possessed Lancia, etc.…). If Mukuro learned anything from the incident, it was to _never_ be first in line, even if you were escaping… or last, for that matter. Being first and being last meant that there were more chances for you to trip up and be caught and blamed _when_ you were caught.

Mukuro honestly couldn't remember how it all happened. He was first in line and apparently there was a 4-way intersection in the ventilation – the ones that branched forward, to the sides, and straight down. In the rush of making a smooth getaway, the illusionist miscalculated the difference between him and the intersection. Unsurprisingly the top half of his body… fell through the connecting tunnel. Luckily, Ken switched instantaneously to his ape channel, and made a grab for his beloved leader. That created a nasty commotion – ventilation shafts, it seemed, were not made for apes – and the whole group came crashing down the tunnel (note: they were supposed to keep going forward). _Unluckily_ for them was the fact that they were already on the Vendice's 'Most Wanted Criminals' list. Strangely enough, the Kokuyo gang never did figure out what really happened with their boss.

One thing led to another and they were caught. And of _course_ that led to jail-time and then his breakout. Last but not least was meeting the heir of the Vongola Family, Sawada Tsunayoshi… who was the reason that he ended up back with the Vendice. Still, the boy repented because Sawada _was_ the one who pulled the strings and let him go free… with some sticky clauses. He'll postpone the possessing of his body just because of that.

"Oya? Does nothing ever seem to go my way?" Mukuro sighed to himself. He looked around the room. It was still empty.

Stretching to loosen his upper-body muscles, Mukuro eyed the jar on the high shelf again. Height – his greatest weakness. Tentatively adding a foot to the distance he perceived, he lunged for the kill.

And missed.

For the fifth time.

Except that this time, the door of the kitchen suddenly swung open to reveal a surprised-looking Chrome.

"Mukuro…sama?"

The sight she beheld led her to bite the inside of her cheek so that she wouldn't burst out giggling. A tall man climbing on top of the counter and still missing a jar of pineapple chunks when the shelf was within easy reaching distance (while standing) was a tad amusing.

"Ah, Chrome… it's not what you think."

"Need help?"

"Well I… yes."

Mukuro climbed down from his precarious perch and sheepishly moved aside. Walking over, Chrome went up on her tippy-toes and stretched her arm out barely brushing against the glass surface. Her eyes glued shut in concentration as she nudged the jar just within reach. Grabbing the whole jar with her hand she gave a sigh of relief when she finally handed the jar to Mukuro. If the man wasn't half as suave as he was, he would have cried tears of joy. Chrome really _was_ the only one who ever understood him and his troubles… mostly because she too shared his problem of depth perception. Speaking of which, Mukuro wondered for a brief moment how she was able to maneuver so well, but brushed it aside as unimportant. It must have been a women's intuition thing, right?

"Kufufu…Thanks my little Chrome."

Chrome glowed with pride until….

"Mukuro… that's just cruel."

Both heads turned to the open doorway where Tsuna, Gokudera, Yamamoto, Ryohei, and surprisingly Hibari stood.

"Guys, it's not what you think."

"—Making a girl who's _shorter_ than you do stuff like that," Yamamoto commented, a frowning creasing his usually smiling face.

"I knew we should have left him with the Vendice. Jyuudaime, did you see that?"

"That's EXTREME injustice!"

"I will bite you to death."

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: I don't think there was any plot to this at all in retrospect. Well then…. Maybe you enjoyed it? I hope? Insight into Mukuro, I guess. Maybe the whole thing just made you go 'Daww' with a chuckle every now and then. If that is true, then I am overjoyed because I achieved my goal. If not…. Well… I just needed to shoot the plot bunnies before they start breeding…

That was so not 6996… right? I'm an 1896 shipper, I swear!

Anyway, I'll post Clam's Much after I finish showering b/c I need to check my grammar, and I'm not up for it when I haven't showered.

Please R&R!

Toodles~!


End file.
